gasping for some air ..

a lil kitten mewing .. thats the sound of the kitten across my block.. it has been yelling for days .. the first time i heard it when i was a about to sleep in a drizzling nite .. i just cudnt sleep ..no not bcos of the noise but the thot it was calling for help,, the thot of it trying to climb up the drain to the surface.. i thot i cud sleep it off pretend it was nothing .. until a while i put on my sweater and pants and got myself a torchlight and went down at an hour passed midnite .. not forgetting the umbrella .. but as i went down .. the mewing stopped .. i went around the perimeter of the residential block checking the drain .. but all i heard was the gushing sound of the drain water.. funny .. so went up to my unit and back to sleep..

the next morning i heard it again .. wondered .. but after few days i told myself it must be kept by one of the tenants.. cud be in a cage ..

it was the last weekend that i found where its exact location.. theres another block about 8m apart from my window .. huh! there it is! in a cage !from our "binocular" its a brown siamese cud be abt 4 months old at a balcony .. i think its lonely or terrified of the raining every now and then.. hmm kesian .. most of the time the sliding door of that house is closed .. have they gone for a vacation? poor lil thing .. my sis said it sounds more like a police car siren .. true .. eeee-yeowww thats close hahaha.. gasping for some air .. wish we cud reach it ..

gasping for some air .. hmm hard to breathe nowdays .. difficult.. its easier not to inhale anything .. expanding the ribcage its pretty tough nowdays.. bcomes a burden .. hoping for some kindness which hasnt come around .. whens that?

maybe i dont live that long to have it .. hmm my sister and housemate went out for a movie .. thats what they sms-ed me.. my baby bro is urging for some sketch for him to do his calculations .. works hmm forking the energy out .. one at a time? .. its up to the point of extreme memory halt .. im becoming more rude esp to those who butt in to see me >> those marketing ppl .. sometimes i feel like yelling "leave me alone!" .. grrr

i had almost the same tough period about the same time last yr .. but i was happy.. fun.. i was loved .. i had someone to let out the feelings of love .. which i dont have anymore .. and time stands still, observing, cud be wondering what i wud do next .. to keep my sanity and sensibility or surrender to the astray life and swinging from one tree to another ..?? .. i think im wiser enuff (if not older enuff) to opt for something more meaningful than those later mentioned ..

dear god .. pls keep me in my faith .. amin ..