self-mooring in the howling gale ..

the morning .. wet wet-nurse day.. it was a slow n steady morning .. the heart bruised .. shud i go or shudnt i go to work? .. its been raining since last nite .. and yesteday was the day i had a thot if i shud seriously stay w him.. it was un-utterable bad day..

working with the fact i cudnt afford to be sick. if i were really on leave.. turn the phone into silence mode .. that still doesnt stop ppl from calling looking for me.. and if they cudnt get thru me today, they wud do next morning.. all in all taking leave is as good as doubling or tripling the workloads.. plus juggling the hands and as well the brain to do and think for 3 or 4 projects a day .. every answer i want shud be in a snap .. im at the point remembering the phone and fax numbers of all consultants n clients in my head, as i have no time to check and to look for it..

its pretty sux .. really it is .. and its worse when u wud have to go thru a relentless arguments n yelling .. esp when its on the phone .. and making it worst .. when the reception is bad .. and that was what i had w him yesterday..
i was pissed off.. i drew 1 line, i had a phone call to take, i drew the 2nd line.. i had to take the next call.. i just got my butt down to the chair.. someone knocked to see me .. and during all that, i received a call from him who was on the road .. apparently he had a fight with a fellow consultant .. 2 egos of 2 bosses colided .. the firey "excitement" of anger he felt was instantly poured down on me..

" u r trying to be a hero, r not u?!!!" .. damn .. he was not in good mood and so was i .. i wasnt trying to be a hero .. i was just pre-amp a foreseen trouble that has come bfor and finally we had to deal it on our end .. " i said dont do it , u DONT do it! i pay ur damn salary! not them! im not their f*** draftman!!!" .. and at that point .. i yelled back at him to stop yelling at me.. putting away the phone on the table.. i still cud hear his speech word by word .. until at one point i stopped arguing and asked for clarification of his intructions .. "how stupid can u be???" .. taht did it .. i felt this feeling overwhelming to fight him to the end .. until his finally said " fine!!" and of course slammed the phone down.. gathering my strength to face the downliners handing down the instructions.. i went into the surau n broke down .. the fact was 2 of the staffs heard of our arguement as they were having a discussion w me bfor he called..

he had never yelled at me like that bfor .. 2 days bfor he was yelling down at a motorist who ran over a red lite .. which at that time i was driving .. and hes intruction was to chase that guy so that he cud reach him n yell .. prior to that a series of honkings by him .. meddling with my navigation.. gosh .. how pressure cud do on ppl..

yesterday evening was ended with a short meeting i had outside .. which after looked for my lil sister to have a coco locco n dinner w me .. and while driving he called me back.. tried to mend things which i replied wherever applicable to the jobs .. went home beyond fatigue .. cudnt asnwer a thing what my housemate asked .. went to bed as early as 9pm after a splash dash ..

and today he treated us the lunch.. and said .. "i didnt mean anything to call u stupid" .. hmm i wonder what he meant when he said it .. sux period of living .. how bad cud it be? all in all as usual we r back to normal.. whatever arguments it has never taken more than 2 or 3 hours to calm down n start arguing again .. self mooring in the howling gale .. hmm

and my lil sister a.k.a toopid has been complaining that i live a simple life .. AM i really?